| 1. | " I Will Not Be Coming to work Today, I Was in a Terrible Plane Crash. My Entire Family Was Killed and I Am a Vegetable. See You Tomorrow." | 5 | ↑ | ↓ |
| 2. | Dear Meg, for the First Four Years of Your Life I Thought You Were a Housecat | 5 | ↑ | ↓ |
| 3. | "I like You. When the World Is Mine, Your Death Shall Be Quick and Painless." | 4 | ↑ | ↓ |
| 4. | I Have an Idea, an Idea so Smart That My Head Would Explode If I Even Began to know What I Was Talking About | 4 | ↑ | ↓ |
| 5. | "You Look like Snoopy, and It Makes Me Smile." | 3 | ↑ | ↓ |
| 6. | Brian's the New Meg | 3 | ↑ | ↓ |
| 7. | I'd Love to stay and Chat, but You're a Total Bitch | 3 | ↑ | ↓ |
| |
 |
| |
